Patience

Patience.

Patience is the fourth fruit of the spirit coming after love, joy, and peace. It’s definitely a hard lesson and one that we are learning a lot about right now. Pretty much everything right now is requiring us to have patience and trust.

We have over 200 kids who need sponsors – most of them have old or no shoes, torn, dirty clothing, and maybe 2 meals a day (one of them very small).

We need patience as we work to find sponsors for these amazing children who we want to have provided for already.

We have a babies home to start – we need bunk beds for the kids and the carpenter is taking forever – we can’t start without the bunk beds. We need sponsors for our babies. We need a stable house.

We need patience as we work to get the bunk beds made and sponsors for the children who will, Lord willing, be living with us. We need patience as we seek God’s will in our housing situation.

We have a well that we want to drill – it will help SO many people and in the future our school.

We need patience as we work to find who can drill the well for the best price and what kind of well we need.

We need a car so we can do more work in the village and transport sick children to and from the clinic as well as food for sponsored children.

We need patience as we work to fundraise for that and trust that God will send us the perfect car.

We have hundreds and hundreds of children who need an education and who we want to build a school for to give them a hope and a future.

We need patience as we try to fundraise for this dream. This huge dream.

Patience is hard, patience is tough, patience is a struggle. Learning patience can make you crazy.

But through it all God has a plan. Through it all we trust God. Through it all we know without a doubt that this is a dream from God and He will provide. We don’t always understand His timing, but we know that it’s perfect. We know that He’s teaching us and loving those kids.

Yesu Asobola – JESUS IS ABLE!

My Quest

My life is a journey - a long, beautiful, hard journey.

My life is a quest - for something.

My life is one big mixture of mess and love and pain and joy.

As a child I never would have been able to predict the way I would be, as I am now, at adulthood.

As a child I would never had believed that I would believe or do the things I do now. I would never have been able to realize how much I would grow in my life.

When I was 18 I began my quest in ernest. That quest was for something God had made. It was for something that only I could find.

The quest was for me. To find myself. To find the person God wanted me to be.
http://pinterest.com/pin/488851734522525289/

The quest was to find out where He wanted me and what He wanted me to believe about the world, about Him, and about myself.

The quest was to find out what it meant to be an adult. To be independent. To live in the glorious freedom of being able to do exactly what I wanted to do.

The quest was to learn how to make decisions. To learn how to make mistakes, and get back up after a failure and keep going with a smile on my face.

During this quest God put me through fire, and pain, and lessons, and changed my opinions and views on life.

The quest lead me to embrace love and freedom. It lead me to embrace equality and independence. It lead me to embrace friends who I never would have dreamed about making but God knew I need them to learn from, and grow, and love and laugh. It lead me to want to love unconditionally.

The quest doesn't end. There will never be a point in my life where I can say "I have learned it all. I have found what God sent me to find." because until He takes me home I will always have more to learn. More to love. More mistakes to make. More to forgive. More to find.
I am now 22 - it has been 4 years since I started this journey in ernest. The journey of adulthood. I am an adult.

I choose to live in love. I choose to live in forgiveness. I choose to learn when to hold on and when to let go. I choose to laugh and to trust. I choose to be loyal  - but not too loyal - not so loyal I can't give up when needed. I choose to smile and dance in the sunshine and rain. I choose to leave myself very little time for sadness and misery and know how to move on from it quickly. I choose to surround myself in love and life and beauty and light. I choose to be a fighter.

I don't apologize for who I am. I don't change on a whim. I change when God brings me to a turn in my journey. When He decides to send me down a different path.

Soon I will move out of my parents house. I will step onto an airplane and then off again in another country that will be my new home.

A new, beautiful, scary, exciting road that I will start on. A new part to my quest - to my journey. New lessons. New mistakes. New successes. New loves. New new new.

Let's do this.

Jehovah Jireh

10 or so years ago I read a book. It was a book that changed my life forever.

Before that time I honestly don't remember thinking that much about what I wanted to do with my life. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker - whatever. :P

Then I opened that book and God changed me.

The book was about a missionary in the 1900's named Lillian Trasher. She was called to Egypt and when she got there, she was handed a baby who was basically dying. So she took it back to the mission base where she was staying. The baby cried and cried and finally the other missionaries told her she had to give the baby away if she wanted to stay there. She knew the Grandmother would throw the baby in the river if she brought it back, so Lillian went for a walk. While she was on that walk she rented a house. Then she moved into it with the baby and her sister. Now the Lillian Trasher Orphanage has 650 widows and orphans who live there.

I read her story and I just KNEW. I was going to move overseas and do the same thing. If it meant I would be in danger, or near sicknesses, or having to stand in front of someone's gun to protect my kids then so be it, because God would be on my side, and so it would all be ok.

Another thing about Lillian struck me hard, and still does - she totally relied on God to provide her and her kids needs. And He ALWAYS DID. She always was able to feed the kids and care for them, even when it looked bleakest. (Sounds similar to George Muller, huh? :)).

And I thought - Wow! I wish God would do that for me!

But honestly, I never believed it would happen for me - sure God would take care of me, but relying totally on Him - what if He didn't provide???

I was living a fairly normal (if you can ever call my life normal at any point in time ;)) life, I had a job, went to school, earned money, passed my classes.

And then it happened.

God told me to move to Africa and open an organization for kids in a village there.

I spent 4 days in said village - I bucket bathed in a "shower" with no door (moonlight bathing is the way to go - just sayin ;)), I used a squatty-potty with cave crickets that looked like they were huge spiders that could attack you at any moment and with lizards that drop on you, I "slept" (kinda ;)) in tiny 3-roomed house right near grass roofed huts. I helped a 12-year-old girl get water in huge containers that she carried on her head (that girl is stronger than I probably EVER will be).

I met grandmother's who had no income and could barely walk caring for 12 kids. I met a 14-year-old girl who had just had a baby a couple hours earlier. I walked through the village and saw the village children come out to stare at me because I am white.

And as I stood listening to the Grandmother talk and saw as children with little to no hope gather around her to listen (and to stare at me ;)), I KNEW - God wanted me in this place.

Now I'm going back.

And guess what - God is providing for our EVERY NEED. I wrote about it before, but financially I have a huge story to tell.

The village needs a well - right now they have to walk so far for water, and not only will our organization need a well on our land since we will be caring for so many kids, but, like I said, the surrounding villagers need one closer too.

So we began raising money for this well. It was slow - and a bit discouraging to be honest.
Then we had an amazing offer - someone told us that in the following two weeks (at the time) whatever donations we got they would match up to $2000.

We freaked out.
TWO WEEKS???
No way we can do that we thought.

The first week went by and fundraising was slow.

And then God did something.

He did something that He did for George Muller and all the kids he cared for.

He did something that He did for Lillian Trasher and her steps out into an unknown country.

He provided.

He showed us that we are NOTHING without Him. He showed us that WE COULD NOT RAISE THAT MONEY.

But HE could.

In the last week He provided not only the $2000 to be matched but DOUBLE that! He sent us over $4000. Which meant with the matching donation He provided over $6000.

Which means -

THE VILLAGE IS GOING TO HAVE A NEW WELL!!!

OUR ORGANIZATION IS GOING TO HAVE A WELL!!!!!!!

I wrote about total trust in my last post.

I have a long way to go.

But God will do great things for these people in Africa who He loves in spite of me.

He will provide for these people and for me and Kris just as He provided for Lillian Trasher and her kids 100 years ago.

God will do great things because He is able!

Jehovah Jireh!

The Lord is at hand

"The Lord is at hand; do not me anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:5b-7

Something struck me about this verse tonight - The Lord is at hand - therefore we should not be anxious about anything. 

If there has been one thing God has been teaching me through the whole process of starting Yesu Asobola Ministries it's exactly what is talked about in these verses. SO many times - in fact over and over and over again over the past several month's since beginning this process - I get overwhelmed, anxious, worried, upset, stressed, etc over things and I start to freak out, or feel like throwing in the towel and forgetting all about it. 

And then I go to God, and I do what this verse says - through prayer and supplication I thank Him and I request His help. I beg Him to show me once again how much HE is in control of all this and how much this is HIS ministry - not mine. Not Kristianna's. Not ours. HIS. 

And then He sends me His peace and whispers to me to watch how He is gonna work it out. Whispers to me to remember He's in control and has a plan - an amazing plan. A plan bigger than anything I could ever imagine. He washes away the overwhelming feelings from me. He washes away my depression, fear, anxiety, and stress and replaces it with peace and trust. Because HERE. 

Over and over and over again this happens. Of course, you'd think I would learn the first time, but sometimes you can't help feeling overwhelmed. And honestly now I have been getting better at going to Him right away. Because imagine this - He is at hand - He is WITH you. He is WITH me. He's not far away. He's HERE. 

It's not that I will never feel overwhelmed or stressed - its that when I DO I know what to do with it. And over and over I see how God works things out in amazing ways I could never have imagined. How He changes people's hearts, sends the funds, sends help, etc. 

And that's why I know it's His will we start this ministry. Because I know on our own we can't do it. I know on our own there is NO way. It's too big. A school and orphanage for over 200 kids? Help for an estimated 400 orphaned children in an African village?

It's HUGE. I can't do it.

In my own strength it is impossible.

But with HIM anything is possible.

But with HIM EVERYTHING is possible.

In HIS strength I can do it. 

HE's the one who loves those kids and is going to provide for them - I am simple His hands and feet - I am simple His servant. I am simply His messenger. 

The Lord is at hand, and is gonna take care of it all - don't fear. Don't be anxious - cast your cares upon HIM for He cares for you! 

Loving Life

Do you love your life? I sure love mine!

Of course there are days when I don't feel that way - moments when I just want to pull my hair out and say to God, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" but somehow He always brings me back to a place where I look around at my life and think, "Wow! How'd I get to be so blessed? I sure love my life and the place that God has me in right now!" Sometimes it's just a feeling that goes with me that I might not stop and notice all the time but it's there.

There are times, however, where I really just stop and say - "Wow! God is SO good! God sure loves me!" 

Today was one of those days - it was gorgeous outside - warm, sunny, and breezy. I went for a walk in a beautiful park where there was a pond - the pond was the most beautiful shade of blue you have ever seen, with the sun sparkling on it. It was one of those moments where you stop and just say - "Wow. God, You are amazing!!"

Don't forget to "Stop and smell the flowers" sometimes in your life - take the time to make it a life you love. Take the time to do things that remind you of how much God loves you. Take the chances needed to step out and change your life if you don't like it the way it is. Give all that fear to God about the unknown and take a leap of faith.

Start to love your life. 

Follow Him

I am moving.

To a foreign country no less.

Ever since I was 12-years-old I have dreamed and prayed about doing this, and now my dream is coming true. To say I am excited is a huge understatement. To say I just can't wait to be back and start ministering and showing God's love to the orphans and needy children of the Onyerai village (which will be my home) doesn't even begin to describe it. I can't wait.

However, there are almost always two sides to ever issue - and this is the other side of mine. The side I don't normally show people. The side I cover up and smile and push aside. However, today I was encouraged to be transparent in this whole process - to show people the hard side to this. To show people what goes on in my heart - the battle between being sooo excited to move out on my own, to pack my bags and move to another country to co-direct a ministry, to become a Mom to kids who don't have one - to teach them about God's love for them, and the side where I leave from visiting a friend and just want to cry because I will miss them so much. Where I go to church and hang out with my church family and someone says they will miss me and I have to pretend it won't hurt as much as it will - that I am strong - because if I show the other side, I might not be able to hold it together. The side where I push the thought aside that I can't go to my Grandparents on Sunday afternoons, or have random movie and ice cream nights with them. The thought I would get to go spend random weekends with one of my best friends any more, or have ice cream dates with another best friend a couple times a week. I won't easily be able to call or text friends and family, or go for walks with my Mom, or be jumped on and written on by the kids at church. I won't be able to have weekly visits with my mentor/best friend/confidante/second mom and her kids.

God doesn't tell us it will be easy. He tells us that He will be our strength. He doesn't tell us that we won't struggle - He says He will keep us from drowning. He doesn't say that we won't cry - He says He will comfort us wipe our tears.

He tells us that if we want to follow Him that if He calls us to  leave our father and mother and family and friends that that is what we need to do and FOLLOW HIM.

Follow Him - that's what He wants of me. He wants me to follow Him to a village in Africa where I could end up living for the rest of my life for all I know. He wants me to follow Him when I have nooo idea what I am doing or how to raise kids, or run an organization. He wants me to follow Him to matter what - no matter how hard it is.

God has given me an amazing life to live. It's hard. Do I love it? Yes. Totally in love with it. Totally excited about what God is going to use me for. Am I scared? Heck yeah. But it's ok - cause I'm following Him.

"As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And he said to him, "Follow Me." So he arose and followed Him." - Matthew 9:9

Matthew didn't question. He didn't fear. He simple stood up, and followed Christ. That is what I'm trying to do - Jesus told me to follow Him, and I'm standing up and doing just that. And I will say one thing - it's one exciting journey! 

Follow Him. 

Joyride - music tag stolen from Sarah!

Put your music on shuffle and answer questions ;)

QUESTIONS
If someone says "Are you okay?" you say - "I like it" 

What would best describe your personality? "Angel" (Haha not)

How would you describe yourself? "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"  (What can I say? I just surpress my feelings a lot - no one ever knows there is a lion inside wanting to get out... Wow awkward... ;))

What do you like in a guy/girl? "I Never Told you" And never will! ;) 

How do you feel today? "Making Memories of Us" (Maybe the question should have been 'What do you feel like doing today?" ;))

What is your life's purpose? "Crush" - yuuupp I aspire for greatness annnd I'm super deep - ALL I WANT IS ONE LITTLE CRUSH!!!!!!!! 

What's Your Motto? "Last First Kiss" - like I said - I'm deep.

What do your friends think of you? "The Way You Look Tonight..." ...is scary? 

What do your parents think of you? "Firecracker" - Actually that could be kinda true :P

What do you think about very often? "I see the light!!!!!!!!"

What is 2 + 2? "I Am" (O_o) 

What do you think of your best friend? "Good Time" Ooooh yeah :D

What do you think of the person you like? "So Close" - I was sooooo close to getting them to like me back *sniffle* jk - I don't like ANYONE right now!!! (Yes that includes YOU oh wait...)

What is your life story? "Heaven" - suuuuurre why not?

What do you want to be when you grow up? "Every time we touch" Ummm....... I just have no idea...

What do you think when you see the person you like? "You look good in my shirt" O_O WHOA!!! LET'S KEEP IT PG HERE PEOPLE!!!!!!! 

What will you do at your wedding? "I want to be a cowboy's sweetheart" - d'awwww

What will they play at your funeral? "Dream a Little Dream of Me" - wow... my funeral is gonna be WEIRD 

What is your hobby/interest? "The Best Day" - does this mean my hobby is to make every day the best day??? Awww 

What is your biggest fear? "Spotlight" AHHHHHHHH I CAN BARELY EVEN SAY THE WORD!!!

What is your biggest secret? "What If..." ...I told you on my blog?? HAHAHA nice try!

What do you want right now? "Valentine" Awww too bad it's not Feb again for like a year... ;) 

What do you think of your friends? "Bonded Together" forEVS! <3 :)

What's the worst thing that could happen? "Heart Attack" - Yeeaaah pretty much ;)

What is the one thing you regret? "Waiting" I'll let you think what you will folks ;)

What makes you laugh? "Ricky" - HEEEY LUCY I"M HOOOOOME!!!! (10 points for you if you know what I'm talking about... ;))

What makes you cry? "We Belong" *Sniffs* Don't even bring it up!! :'(

Will you ever get married? "Hello Seattle!" - IT"S A SIGN! I"M GONNA MARRY SOMEONE FROM SEATTLE!!!!!! 

What scares you the most? "I'm Coming After You" - O_O That does sound scary! 

Does anyone like you? "I Whistle a Happy Tune" and say probably not ;)

If you could go back in time, what would you change? "Whispering Hope" - yup I'd TOTALLY change that... Instead of whispering it I'd YELL it!!!

What hurts right now? "West Coast Friendship" - sorry west coast friends but it just HUURTS!! Lol

What would you want to say to the person who tagged you (if you were tagged)? I'm "All Shook Up" at the fact that you tagged me!!!!! ;)

What will you name this post? "Joyride" - cause life IS a joyride!