Crazy? You bet!!

We are getting closer and closer to going to Africa - our plane tickets are bought, and more and more things are falling into place. Each time I think about it, I am blown away once again - I AM GOING TO AFRICA!!! We have a SET day to leave! A plane GOING TO AFRICA has our names as passengers. Is God amazing or what???

Yes, I am terrified - "Am I crazy?" I question myself, and the answer is - I SURE AM!!! I am CRAZY for God! I am CRAZY for His calling on my life! I am CRAZY excited to set off that plane in AFRICA! I am CRAZY excited to met the little ones at ABC!!!! I am CRAZY scared about all that is going to happen - good and bad! I am CRAZY happy Bee will be going with me!! I am CRAZY in love with my God!!!! I am going to follow Him even if other people point at me and call be CRAZY! All I will tell them is - You bet! :OD :OD You bet I'm crazy! And I'm going to strive to live CRAZY for the rest of my life! Live CRAZY for God!!! :-)

I told my Deaf teacher yesterday about how I was going to Africa, and he got so super excited, I had to smile! He's from Africa himself originally, as is his wife! CRAZY cool! :OD

Ok Lord, what's the next CRAZY thing you want me to do?? :OD I'm ready!

Blessed

Blessed. I am truly truly blessed!
Amidst the pain, depression, stress, hurt, messy house, and hard work; I am blessed.
Even when I feel like I can't face another day; I am blessed.
When I feel like God isn't there - I only need to look around me to see He is - because I am blessed.
I receive a encouraging word from a dear friend and I realize - I am blessed.
I receive amazing and generous gifts from people I went to bless and I see - I am blessed.
I have shoes on my feet, food to eat, and a roof over my head, and no matter how messy the floor is - I am blessed.
I see my kitty-cat snuggled at the bottom of my bed and I remember - I am blessed.
Someone gives me a hug and I feel - I am blessed.
God provides - I am blessed - so blessed!
Lord, help me to live each day with the joy and knowledge that I AM BLESSED!!

Make Me a Captive, Lord

Make Me A Captive Lord
By George Matheson

Make me a captive, Lord, and then I shall be free.
Force me to render up my sword, and I shall conqueror be.
I sink in life’s alarms when by myself I stand;
Imprison me within Thine arms, and strong shall be my hand.

My heart is weak and poor until it master find;
It has no spring of action sure, it varies with the wind.
It cannot freely move till Thou has wrought its chain;
Enslave it with Thy matchless love, and deathless it shall reign.

My power is faint and low till I have learned to serve;
It lacks the needed fire to glow, it lacks the breeze to nerve.
It cannot drive the world until itself be driven;
Its flag can only be unfurled when Thou shalt breathe from heaven.

My will is not my own till Thou hast made it Thine;
If it would reach a monarch’s throne, it must its crown resign.
It only stands unbent amid the clashing strife,
When on Thy bosom it has leant, and found in Thee its life.

In Which I am Stalked by a Cat

BREAKTHROUGH! Diego the cat suddenly started stalking me today, after ignoring or running from me for the past 7 days! :-P And THEN he let me pet him and pick him up for a minute!!! O_O O_O He must be DESPERATE! Couldn't even wait for my cousin Max to come home from school! Guess it's serious! ;-) (And no, the pic is not of him, but he IS a fluffy black cat - his nose is more puggy though! ;-)).

Anyways - I'm kinda loving NJ! :-) Plus we've been having GORGEOUS weather! :OD In the upper 60's today! I have some windows open, and the door open! (With the screen door closed of course! ;-)). And I've been going for walks - Ahh!! BEAUTIFUL!!!! :OD
What are some things I love about NJ? -
Their Christian radio station - LOVING it! :OD
No school - ;-) (Oh wait, I guess this could apply to anywhere other than CT ;-))
The little Country Cafe Coffee Shop - sooo cute! (Livs - you would LOVE it! I wish I could take you!!).

Sooo yeah, I'm SO not ready to go back to home and school!!! I like being on my own a bit more, and I am pretty depressed about school! (I want to drop out like yesterday... :-P). Seriously wondering about next fall... Hope something else comes up! ;-) We'll see!!! :-)

Well, have a wonderful day everyone!! Enjoy the spring weather if you have it!!!!

Strength and Rest

Isaiah 40:28-31
"Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

God renews our strength - in Him we will run and not be weary! The pastor at church today read these verses, and they were just the words I needed to hear. Lately I have been feeling weary, and like I have no strength, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength! Lord, I am waiting on you! I shall run in YOUR power and YOUR might! :-)

Mm hmm...

End of my rope...

Ever feel like you are at "the end of your rope" so to speak? Yeah, lately I'm feeling like I've been hanging from a cliff like in the picture. Things feel so whacked out and uncertain in my life. I struggle with where I am, and where God wants me to be - Does He want me to do school next year? Is He going to show me the ministry He wants me to do soon? Is there something else I should be doing? Should I get a job next year? Should I move out? Where would I move? And HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH NEXT WEEK????

I'm burnt out - my arms are tired from hanging there for so long. My mind and body are shot from trying to do so much - to much homework - to much to remember - to much to do, and not enough time to do it in.

I love my Deaf studies, but at the same time if God showed me a ministry which I could serve at I would probably drop school like a hot potato. Drop my whole current life in fact.

There is so much in my life I would love to do - especially to become a missionary, but lately I have been wishing I could like live on a big farm with a family who has lots of kids, and just LIVE for a while! A lady from our church spoke of maybe becoming entrepreneurs and living on a farm in the fairly close future, and it just made me think about that! I would love that. :-)

I am worn out. Worn out from school. Worn out from homework and studying. Worn out from having a messy house all the time that I honestly can't do anything about (if I clean it it will be messy again in one hour). WORN OUT FROM LIFE!!

Looking forward to my Bible study tonight with HannahBeth! <3 And God is always SO good! He is leading me, even when I feel like I'm just hanging there - He is holding me up!!!! :-)