The Lord is at hand

"The Lord is at hand; do not me anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:5b-7

Something struck me about this verse tonight - The Lord is at hand - therefore we should not be anxious about anything. 

If there has been one thing God has been teaching me through the whole process of starting Yesu Asobola Ministries it's exactly what is talked about in these verses. SO many times - in fact over and over and over again over the past several month's since beginning this process - I get overwhelmed, anxious, worried, upset, stressed, etc over things and I start to freak out, or feel like throwing in the towel and forgetting all about it. 

And then I go to God, and I do what this verse says - through prayer and supplication I thank Him and I request His help. I beg Him to show me once again how much HE is in control of all this and how much this is HIS ministry - not mine. Not Kristianna's. Not ours. HIS. 

And then He sends me His peace and whispers to me to watch how He is gonna work it out. Whispers to me to remember He's in control and has a plan - an amazing plan. A plan bigger than anything I could ever imagine. He washes away the overwhelming feelings from me. He washes away my depression, fear, anxiety, and stress and replaces it with peace and trust. Because HERE. 

Over and over and over again this happens. Of course, you'd think I would learn the first time, but sometimes you can't help feeling overwhelmed. And honestly now I have been getting better at going to Him right away. Because imagine this - He is at hand - He is WITH you. He is WITH me. He's not far away. He's HERE. 

It's not that I will never feel overwhelmed or stressed - its that when I DO I know what to do with it. And over and over I see how God works things out in amazing ways I could never have imagined. How He changes people's hearts, sends the funds, sends help, etc. 

And that's why I know it's His will we start this ministry. Because I know on our own we can't do it. I know on our own there is NO way. It's too big. A school and orphanage for over 200 kids? Help for an estimated 400 orphaned children in an African village?

It's HUGE. I can't do it.

In my own strength it is impossible.

But with HIM anything is possible.

But with HIM EVERYTHING is possible.

In HIS strength I can do it. 

HE's the one who loves those kids and is going to provide for them - I am simple His hands and feet - I am simple His servant. I am simply His messenger. 

The Lord is at hand, and is gonna take care of it all - don't fear. Don't be anxious - cast your cares upon HIM for He cares for you! 

Loving Life

Do you love your life? I sure love mine!

Of course there are days when I don't feel that way - moments when I just want to pull my hair out and say to God, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" but somehow He always brings me back to a place where I look around at my life and think, "Wow! How'd I get to be so blessed? I sure love my life and the place that God has me in right now!" Sometimes it's just a feeling that goes with me that I might not stop and notice all the time but it's there.

There are times, however, where I really just stop and say - "Wow! God is SO good! God sure loves me!" 

Today was one of those days - it was gorgeous outside - warm, sunny, and breezy. I went for a walk in a beautiful park where there was a pond - the pond was the most beautiful shade of blue you have ever seen, with the sun sparkling on it. It was one of those moments where you stop and just say - "Wow. God, You are amazing!!"

Don't forget to "Stop and smell the flowers" sometimes in your life - take the time to make it a life you love. Take the time to do things that remind you of how much God loves you. Take the chances needed to step out and change your life if you don't like it the way it is. Give all that fear to God about the unknown and take a leap of faith.

Start to love your life. 

Follow Him

I am moving.

To a foreign country no less.

Ever since I was 12-years-old I have dreamed and prayed about doing this, and now my dream is coming true. To say I am excited is a huge understatement. To say I just can't wait to be back and start ministering and showing God's love to the orphans and needy children of the Onyerai village (which will be my home) doesn't even begin to describe it. I can't wait.

However, there are almost always two sides to ever issue - and this is the other side of mine. The side I don't normally show people. The side I cover up and smile and push aside. However, today I was encouraged to be transparent in this whole process - to show people the hard side to this. To show people what goes on in my heart - the battle between being sooo excited to move out on my own, to pack my bags and move to another country to co-direct a ministry, to become a Mom to kids who don't have one - to teach them about God's love for them, and the side where I leave from visiting a friend and just want to cry because I will miss them so much. Where I go to church and hang out with my church family and someone says they will miss me and I have to pretend it won't hurt as much as it will - that I am strong - because if I show the other side, I might not be able to hold it together. The side where I push the thought aside that I can't go to my Grandparents on Sunday afternoons, or have random movie and ice cream nights with them. The thought I would get to go spend random weekends with one of my best friends any more, or have ice cream dates with another best friend a couple times a week. I won't easily be able to call or text friends and family, or go for walks with my Mom, or be jumped on and written on by the kids at church. I won't be able to have weekly visits with my mentor/best friend/confidante/second mom and her kids.

God doesn't tell us it will be easy. He tells us that He will be our strength. He doesn't tell us that we won't struggle - He says He will keep us from drowning. He doesn't say that we won't cry - He says He will comfort us wipe our tears.

He tells us that if we want to follow Him that if He calls us to  leave our father and mother and family and friends that that is what we need to do and FOLLOW HIM.

Follow Him - that's what He wants of me. He wants me to follow Him to a village in Africa where I could end up living for the rest of my life for all I know. He wants me to follow Him when I have nooo idea what I am doing or how to raise kids, or run an organization. He wants me to follow Him to matter what - no matter how hard it is.

God has given me an amazing life to live. It's hard. Do I love it? Yes. Totally in love with it. Totally excited about what God is going to use me for. Am I scared? Heck yeah. But it's ok - cause I'm following Him.

"As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And he said to him, "Follow Me." So he arose and followed Him." - Matthew 9:9

Matthew didn't question. He didn't fear. He simple stood up, and followed Christ. That is what I'm trying to do - Jesus told me to follow Him, and I'm standing up and doing just that. And I will say one thing - it's one exciting journey! 

Follow Him. 

Joyride - music tag stolen from Sarah!

Put your music on shuffle and answer questions ;)

QUESTIONS
If someone says "Are you okay?" you say - "I like it" 

What would best describe your personality? "Angel" (Haha not)

How would you describe yourself? "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"  (What can I say? I just surpress my feelings a lot - no one ever knows there is a lion inside wanting to get out... Wow awkward... ;))

What do you like in a guy/girl? "I Never Told you" And never will! ;) 

How do you feel today? "Making Memories of Us" (Maybe the question should have been 'What do you feel like doing today?" ;))

What is your life's purpose? "Crush" - yuuupp I aspire for greatness annnd I'm super deep - ALL I WANT IS ONE LITTLE CRUSH!!!!!!!! 

What's Your Motto? "Last First Kiss" - like I said - I'm deep.

What do your friends think of you? "The Way You Look Tonight..." ...is scary? 

What do your parents think of you? "Firecracker" - Actually that could be kinda true :P

What do you think about very often? "I see the light!!!!!!!!"

What is 2 + 2? "I Am" (O_o) 

What do you think of your best friend? "Good Time" Ooooh yeah :D

What do you think of the person you like? "So Close" - I was sooooo close to getting them to like me back *sniffle* jk - I don't like ANYONE right now!!! (Yes that includes YOU oh wait...)

What is your life story? "Heaven" - suuuuurre why not?

What do you want to be when you grow up? "Every time we touch" Ummm....... I just have no idea...

What do you think when you see the person you like? "You look good in my shirt" O_O WHOA!!! LET'S KEEP IT PG HERE PEOPLE!!!!!!! 

What will you do at your wedding? "I want to be a cowboy's sweetheart" - d'awwww

What will they play at your funeral? "Dream a Little Dream of Me" - wow... my funeral is gonna be WEIRD 

What is your hobby/interest? "The Best Day" - does this mean my hobby is to make every day the best day??? Awww 

What is your biggest fear? "Spotlight" AHHHHHHHH I CAN BARELY EVEN SAY THE WORD!!!

What is your biggest secret? "What If..." ...I told you on my blog?? HAHAHA nice try!

What do you want right now? "Valentine" Awww too bad it's not Feb again for like a year... ;) 

What do you think of your friends? "Bonded Together" forEVS! <3 :)

What's the worst thing that could happen? "Heart Attack" - Yeeaaah pretty much ;)

What is the one thing you regret? "Waiting" I'll let you think what you will folks ;)

What makes you laugh? "Ricky" - HEEEY LUCY I"M HOOOOOME!!!! (10 points for you if you know what I'm talking about... ;))

What makes you cry? "We Belong" *Sniffs* Don't even bring it up!! :'(

Will you ever get married? "Hello Seattle!" - IT"S A SIGN! I"M GONNA MARRY SOMEONE FROM SEATTLE!!!!!! 

What scares you the most? "I'm Coming After You" - O_O That does sound scary! 

Does anyone like you? "I Whistle a Happy Tune" and say probably not ;)

If you could go back in time, what would you change? "Whispering Hope" - yup I'd TOTALLY change that... Instead of whispering it I'd YELL it!!!

What hurts right now? "West Coast Friendship" - sorry west coast friends but it just HUURTS!! Lol

What would you want to say to the person who tagged you (if you were tagged)? I'm "All Shook Up" at the fact that you tagged me!!!!! ;)

What will you name this post? "Joyride" - cause life IS a joyride!

Tagged :)

1.    1. What time is it? 11:57pm (I have a good reason I’m still up – I’m at work ;)).

2. What's your full name? Amy Irene Patterson

3. How old are you? 22 (Whoa… Old ;))

4.What's the most recent movie you've seen? Sleepless in Seattle if “Friends” tv show doesn’t count ;)

5. Place of birth? Oneonta, NY

6. Favorite food? Ice Cream count as “food”? ;)

7. What's your natural hair color? Brown

8. Was deleted and Idk what the Q was… ;)

9. Love somebody so much it made you cry? Well… Want to cry – idk if I actually cried but maybe? J

10. Ever been in a car accident? Bumper Cruncher count? :P

11. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons! Unless it’s with baked potatoes – then bacon bits ;)

12. Ever been on a ship? Idk… A BIG sailboat count? ;)

13. Favorite Flower?  Dandelions – happy happy sunshiny flower :D

14. Favorite day of the week? Umm… Depends on the week. :P

15. Favorite sport to watch? Football – Tennis is ok too though

16. Warner Brothers or Disney? I think Disney…

17. Favorite restaurant? Thai Restaurant in town J

18. Favorite drink? Besides water idk… I like juice, soda, tea… :P

19. Favorite ice cream? Peppermint Stick! :D

20. What color is your bedroom carpet? Blue

21. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Idk… :P

22. Who will be least likely to respond? Idk… :P

23. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses? Idk… :P

24. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Zero – I passed with no mistakes! Wooot for me!

25. Last person you went to dinner with? Janna lol J

26. Favorite TV show? At the moment “Friends” J

27. What do you want to do before you die? SO many things!!! Can’t even list all the things I wanna do!!!

28. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? I don’t remember… :P

29. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken – just ask God ;)

 31. Have you ever been overseas? Oooh yeah! Twice!! And I love it!!! :D

32. What do you do when you are bored? Idk… Go for a run, sew, go on fb, twitter, pinterest, go to the store, text someone… :P

33. What are your favorite colors? Yellow and Pink

34. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? Idk… Might just post it on my blog… Lol

35.Your usual Bedtime? Depends… :P Usually 11:30 or later though

36. How many tattoos do you have? Wouldn’t YOU like to know! ;)

37. How many pets do you have? Personally? One cat… In the house? Also 2 dogs and then 3 chickens outside haha

38. Time right now: 12:12am

Walk Alone

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
Albert Einstein 

My "resolutions" condensed

If I had to condense my 2013 bucket list into just a couple "resolutions" this is what they would be -

1. Focus on God

2. Love unconditionally

3. Embrace and include more art in my life

4. Love the healthy end of life

There - for those who might be interested in a shorter version ;)