Sunday, June 9, 2013

Follow Him

I am moving.

To a foreign country no less.

Ever since I was 12-years-old I have dreamed and prayed about doing this, and now my dream is coming true. To say I am excited is a huge understatement. To say I just can't wait to be back and start ministering and showing God's love to the orphans and needy children of the Onyerai village (which will be my home) doesn't even begin to describe it. I can't wait.

However, there are almost always two sides to ever issue - and this is the other side of mine. The side I don't normally show people. The side I cover up and smile and push aside. However, today I was encouraged to be transparent in this whole process - to show people the hard side to this. To show people what goes on in my heart - the battle between being sooo excited to move out on my own, to pack my bags and move to another country to co-direct a ministry, to become a Mom to kids who don't have one - to teach them about God's love for them, and the side where I leave from visiting a friend and just want to cry because I will miss them so much. Where I go to church and hang out with my church family and someone says they will miss me and I have to pretend it won't hurt as much as it will - that I am strong - because if I show the other side, I might not be able to hold it together. The side where I push the thought aside that I can't go to my Grandparents on Sunday afternoons, or have random movie and ice cream nights with them. The thought I would get to go spend random weekends with one of my best friends any more, or have ice cream dates with another best friend a couple times a week. I won't easily be able to call or text friends and family, or go for walks with my Mom, or be jumped on and written on by the kids at church. I won't be able to have weekly visits with my mentor/best friend/confidante/second mom and her kids.

God doesn't tell us it will be easy. He tells us that He will be our strength. He doesn't tell us that we won't struggle - He says He will keep us from drowning. He doesn't say that we won't cry - He says He will comfort us wipe our tears.

He tells us that if we want to follow Him that if He calls us to  leave our father and mother and family and friends that that is what we need to do and FOLLOW HIM.

Follow Him - that's what He wants of me. He wants me to follow Him to a village in Africa where I could end up living for the rest of my life for all I know. He wants me to follow Him when I have nooo idea what I am doing or how to raise kids, or run an organization. He wants me to follow Him to matter what - no matter how hard it is.

God has given me an amazing life to live. It's hard. Do I love it? Yes. Totally in love with it. Totally excited about what God is going to use me for. Am I scared? Heck yeah. But it's ok - cause I'm following Him.

"As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And he said to him, "Follow Me." So he arose and followed Him." - Matthew 9:9

Matthew didn't question. He didn't fear. He simple stood up, and followed Christ. That is what I'm trying to do - Jesus told me to follow Him, and I'm standing up and doing just that. And I will say one thing - it's one exciting journey! 

Follow Him. 


Sam said...

You know i'm gonna cry when you leave and I'm gonna miss our weekends like crazy. But I'm so frickin proud of you, excited for you, and rooting for you all the way! You rock, girl! Keep followin Him. :)

hannah e. said...

AMYYYYYYYYYY. I love you. You are amazing, and I really admire you. This post is fantastic, and thank-you for being so honest. <3

Madeline said...

Amy, I can't even begin to say how proud I am of you. You are doing a really amazing but scary thing, and you are trusting in God. That is so true though, that it's okay to show the sadness about leaving. You're doing something big and it WILL be sad, but it will be the most amazing adventure of your life as well. :) I love you girl!

Janna said...

I love you soooo much!! and I'm so proud of you for following God's call in your life, you're such an inspiration to me. I'm gonna miss you like crazy but I know we'll be friends forever no matter what, and I'm so excited for you!! <3