Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My Quest

My life is a journey - a long, beautiful, hard journey.

My life is a quest - for something.

My life is one big mixture of mess and love and pain and joy.

As a child I never would have been able to predict the way I would be, as I am now, at adulthood.

As a child I would never had believed that I would believe or do the things I do now. I would never have been able to realize how much I would grow in my life.

When I was 18 I began my quest in ernest. That quest was for something God had made. It was for something that only I could find.

The quest was for me. To find myself. To find the person God wanted me to be.

The quest was to find out where He wanted me and what He wanted me to believe about the world, about Him, and about myself.

The quest was to find out what it meant to be an adult. To be independent. To live in the glorious freedom of being able to do exactly what I wanted to do.

The quest was to learn how to make decisions. To learn how to make mistakes, and get back up after a failure and keep going with a smile on my face.

During this quest God put me through fire, and pain, and lessons, and changed my opinions and views on life.

The quest lead me to embrace love and freedom. It lead me to embrace equality and independence. It lead me to embrace friends who I never would have dreamed about making but God knew I need them to learn from, and grow, and love and laugh. It lead me to want to love unconditionally.

The quest doesn't end. There will never be a point in my life where I can say "I have learned it all. I have found what God sent me to find." because until He takes me home I will always have more to learn. More to love. More mistakes to make. More to forgive. More to find.
I am now 22 - it has been 4 years since I started this journey in ernest. The journey of adulthood. I am an adult.

I choose to live in love. I choose to live in forgiveness. I choose to learn when to hold on and when to let go. I choose to laugh and to trust. I choose to be loyal  - but not too loyal - not so loyal I can't give up when needed. I choose to smile and dance in the sunshine and rain. I choose to leave myself very little time for sadness and misery and know how to move on from it quickly. I choose to surround myself in love and life and beauty and light. I choose to be a fighter.

I don't apologize for who I am. I don't change on a whim. I change when God brings me to a turn in my journey. When He decides to send me down a different path.

Soon I will move out of my parents house. I will step onto an airplane and then off again in another country that will be my new home.

A new, beautiful, scary, exciting road that I will start on. A new part to my quest - to my journey. New lessons. New mistakes. New successes. New loves. New new new.

Let's do this.


Madeline said...

Amy you are so amazing. I love this post. You are such a strong woman of God and I am praying for you! :)

KatelovesTyKow said...

I love you Amy!! :) and I love this post too :)

Amy K. said...

I admire your adventuresome spirit and faith. I hope I can come and visit Africa someday and meet you in person! =)