Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Lord is at hand

"The Lord is at hand; do not me anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:5b-7

Something struck me about this verse tonight - The Lord is at hand - therefore we should not be anxious about anything. 
If there has been one thing God has been teaching me through the whole process of starting Yesu Asobola Ministries it's exactly what is talked about in these verses. SO many times - in fact over and over and over again over the past several month's since beginning this process - I get overwhelmed, anxious, worried, upset, stressed, etc over things and I start to freak out, or feel like throwing in the towel and forgetting all about it. 

And then I go to God, and I do what this verse says - through prayer and supplication I thank Him and I request His help. I beg Him to show me once again how much HE is in control of all this and how much this is HIS ministry - not mine. Not Kristianna's. Not ours. HIS. 
And then He sends me His peace and whispers to me to watch how He is gonna work it out. Whispers to me to remember He's in control and has a plan - an amazing plan. A plan bigger than anything I could ever imagine. He washes away the overwhelming feelings from me. He washes away my depression, fear, anxiety, and stress and replaces it with peace and trust. Because HERE. 

Over and over and over again this happens. Of course, you'd think I would learn the first time, but sometimes you can't help feeling overwhelmed. And honestly now I have been getting better at going to Him right away. Because imagine this - He is at hand - He is WITH you. He is WITH me. He's not far away. He's HERE. 
It's not that I will never feel overwhelmed or stressed - its that when I DO I know what to do with it. And over and over I see how God works things out in amazing ways I could never have imagined. How He changes people's hearts, sends the funds, sends help, etc. 

And that's why I know it's His will we start this ministry. Because I know on our own we can't do it. I know on our own there is NO way. It's too big. A school and orphanage for over 200 kids? Help for an estimated 400 orphaned children in an African village?
It's HUGE. I can't do it.
In my own strength it is impossible.

But with HIM anything is possible.
But with HIM EVERYTHING is possible.
In HIS strength I can do it. 
HE's the one who loves those kids and is going to provide for them - I am simple His hands and feet - I am simple His servant. I am simply His messenger. 

The Lord is at hand, and is gonna take care of it all - don't fear. Don't be anxious - cast your cares upon HIM for He cares for you! 

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Loving Life

Do you love your life? I sure love mine!

Of course there are days when I don't feel that way - moments when I just want to pull my hair out and say to God, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" but somehow He always brings me back to a place where I look around at my life and think, "Wow! How'd I get to be so blessed? I sure love my life and the place that God has me in right now!" Sometimes it's just a feeling that goes with me that I might not stop and notice all the time but it's there.

There are times, however, where I really just stop and say - "Wow! God is SO good! God sure loves me!" 
Today was one of those days - it was gorgeous outside - warm, sunny, and breezy. I went for a walk in a beautiful park where there was a pond - the pond was the most beautiful shade of blue you have ever seen, with the sun sparkling on it. It was one of those moments where you stop and just say - "Wow. God, You are amazing!!"

Don't forget to "Stop and smell the flowers" sometimes in your life - take the time to make it a life you love. Take the time to do things that remind you of how much God loves you. Take the chances needed to step out and change your life if you don't like it the way it is. Give all that fear to God about the unknown and take a leap of faith.

Start to love your life. 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Follow Him

I am moving.

To a foreign country no less.

Ever since I was 12-years-old I have dreamed and prayed about doing this, and now my dream is coming true. To say I am excited is a huge understatement. To say I just can't wait to be back and start ministering and showing God's love to the orphans and needy children of the Onyerai village (which will be my home) doesn't even begin to describe it. I can't wait.

However, there are almost always two sides to ever issue - and this is the other side of mine. The side I don't normally show people. The side I cover up and smile and push aside. However, today I was encouraged to be transparent in this whole process - to show people the hard side to this. To show people what goes on in my heart - the battle between being sooo excited to move out on my own, to pack my bags and move to another country to co-direct a ministry, to become a Mom to kids who don't have one - to teach them about God's love for them, and the side where I leave from visiting a friend and just want to cry because I will miss them so much. Where I go to church and hang out with my church family and someone says they will miss me and I have to pretend it won't hurt as much as it will - that I am strong - because if I show the other side, I might not be able to hold it together. The side where I push the thought aside that I can't go to my Grandparents on Sunday afternoons, or have random movie and ice cream nights with them. The thought I would get to go spend random weekends with one of my best friends any more, or have ice cream dates with another best friend a couple times a week. I won't easily be able to call or text friends and family, or go for walks with my Mom, or be jumped on and written on by the kids at church. I won't be able to have weekly visits with my mentor/best friend/confidante/second mom and her kids.

God doesn't tell us it will be easy. He tells us that He will be our strength. He doesn't tell us that we won't struggle - He says He will keep us from drowning. He doesn't say that we won't cry - He says He will comfort us wipe our tears.

He tells us that if we want to follow Him that if He calls us to  leave our father and mother and family and friends that that is what we need to do and FOLLOW HIM.

Follow Him - that's what He wants of me. He wants me to follow Him to a village in Africa where I could end up living for the rest of my life for all I know. He wants me to follow Him when I have nooo idea what I am doing or how to raise kids, or run an organization. He wants me to follow Him to matter what - no matter how hard it is.

God has given me an amazing life to live. It's hard. Do I love it? Yes. Totally in love with it. Totally excited about what God is going to use me for. Am I scared? Heck yeah. But it's ok - cause I'm following Him.

"As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And he said to him, "Follow Me." So he arose and followed Him." - Matthew 9:9

Matthew didn't question. He didn't fear. He simple stood up, and followed Christ. That is what I'm trying to do - Jesus told me to follow Him, and I'm standing up and doing just that. And I will say one thing - it's one exciting journey! 

Follow Him.