Owl City

I wish I could cross my arms
And cross your mind 'cause I believe
You'd unfold your paper heart
And wear it on your sleeve

All my life I wish I broke mirrors
Instead of promises
'Cause all I see is a shattered conscience
Staring right back at me

I wish I had covered all my tracks completely
'Cause I'm so afraid
Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel
Or just the train?

Lift your arms, only Heaven knows
Where the danger grows and it's safe to say
There's a bright light up ahead
And help is on the way, help is on the way

I forget the last time I felt brave
I just recall insecurity
'Cause it came down like a tidal wave
And sorrow swept over me

Depression, please cut to the chase
And cut a long story short
Oh, please be done, how much longer
Can this drama afford to run?

Fate looks sharp, severs all my ties
And breaks whatever doesn't bend
But sadly then, all my heavy hopes
Just pull me back down again

I forget the last time I felt brave
I just recall insecurity
'Cause it came down like a tidal wave
And sorrow swept over me

Then I was given grace and love
I was blind but now I can see
'Cause I found a new hope from above
And courage swept over me

It hurts just to wake up
Whenever you're wearing thin
Alone on the outside
So tired of looking in

The end is uncertain
And I've never been so afraid
But I don't need a telescope
To see that there's hope
And that makes me feel brave

The Ache Will Last Forever...

Do you have anything or any person that you think about every single day? Something/one that you miss so much that your heart aches and you wonder how in the world you will get through that day... That week... That month... That year... Those many years till you have that person back in your arms?

I do.

I think about "my" kids in Uganda every single day. I ACHE to hold them again. I ACHE to hear their little voices call me "Auntie Ammmy" again. I ACHE to have susu (pee) all over my clothes again. I ACHE to change a billion and one diapers again. I ACHE to hear "my" Mama's call me "Daughter" again. I ACHE to have sweet baby kisses planted on my cheek. I ACHE to spoil them with chocolate cake and soda. I ACHE know "my" kids are safe because I can see them - I ACHE to be able to see them every single day, and boast about how proud I am of them

Are they my kids? Not really - they are God's kids. They will always have a HUGE special spot in my heart. Even if I never get to see them again in this life, every time I see their pictures or think of their names I will miss them, and love them.

Even so I ache. Each time a little kid pushes me away because they have a loving family (which makes me so happy for that child) it makes me long to hold those kids who don't have a family, because they need the love and the touch and they need to know that I love them - oh so very much. Each hurting child, each lonely child, each child without a family, each neglected child, each starving child, each of them get a special place in my heart, and no matter how many I meet in my life, I know there will always be enough room for each of them to have a special place in my heart - because God made it big on purpose.

Some kids I miss especially - My girl Jemima - how she made me earn her trust - I had to work hard for it, but it was so rewarding in the end. Her parting words to me. Her sassy times, and the times she needed someone to stick by her when she was in a bad mood. The pain that I had to leave her, when she told me to stay. Knowing that I may never see her again in this life.
My boy Ashraf - his silly faces, him trying to talk to me in his language, his craziness.
Simon - His chubby cheeks and fat legs. His amazing smile, and huggableness.
Jacob - How I love that kid!
My list could keep going... And going... And going...

Appreciate every moment you have with your kids, or other little ones God has put in your life. Let the little things slide - in the end what matters?

Oh God, take care of each of the kids - and give them people to love them - even if I desperately want it to be me. 

Jane By Design

Sooo I am just one of those people who loves TV shows!!! I love how when you fall in love with characters you know that at the end of the episode it's not REALLY the end, but you get to see more soon!! Movies, when it's done it's done, but TV shows can keep going for a while!

Recently my favorite show became ABC Family's Jane by Design. Ok, yes, call me a sap, but this show is just totally my guilty pleasure!!! (So sad no more eppies till JUNE! How can I wait that long??).

So I thought it'd be fun to tell you all about my fav show that I'm totally obsessed with. Lol! :-P

Jane by Design is about a highschool girl named Jane (big surprise there, right?? ;-) I knew you'd be shocked!! ;-)), who lives with her older brother since her mother ran away when she was young and her father passed away a few years ago. She is just like any other highschool girl, until she decides to apply for an internship at a big fashion company in the city, but they get her confused with someone else and she gets a real job there!! The show is about her scraps she gets herself into, and about her best friend Billy (AHHH!!!! Love him!!!) helping her out of them, and her awesome bro and his fun moments!!! So adorable!!!

So since I love lists, here are some things I love about JBD :oD

Reasons why I love the show so much -

~ It's cute, generally clean, and fun - One of the big reasons I love this show is that it is fairly clean compared to other shows on these days. There are kissing scenes, and one of THOSE scenes that they totally could have left out, but GENERALLY there are cute romances, a bit of drama, but not tooo much to make it stressful to watch.

~ Such cute fashion!!!! Seriously - can I have Jane's closet????

~ Not too stressful - I hate how drama filled most show's are these days. Yes Jane get's into scraps, but overall it's not too drama filled.

~ Cute AND nice boys *Wink Wink* ;-) Seriously though - such nice guys on the show - I hate it when shows have all the guys be jerks or whatever. But especially Billy and Ben are awesome!!

~ Good dialogue/writing - seriously good lines, good moments, and just all around fun!

Characters I love (in no particular order) -

~ Jane - The main character is quirky and fun - her fashion is amazing, she is fun and cute. Yes she can be a brat sometimes, lies to her brother once in a while, gets mad at her best friend once in a while, and has enemies, but it's always good when the main person has some faults - makes them more real. Jane may not be a hero, but she's real, blunt, and an all around neat person.

~ Ben - Jane's terribly cute older bro! (Ok, yes, I have a crush on him - you found out ;-)). Ben is such a good big bro. He gave up his dreams and goals in life to come and take care of his younger sister, which isn't always an easy job! He's quirky and fun like his sister, has the most adorable smile, and is a bit of a dork. :-P He can be super awkward, and sometimes has conversations that make no sense to the person who he is talking too. He hates camping, and even hates Smores! He has a weird sense of humor, and has a crush on Rita, the school counselor who sits in the office adjoining his. He loves to pop in on her and try to "win her over." They are a perfect match.

~ Rita - Ben's super cute crush! When you first see her Rita Shaw comes across as a very serious girl with a dry sense of humor. Although she's secretly had a crush on Ben since high-school she doesn't let him know she likes him for a while. She's a gal who makes a guy work to win her over, but she's terribly worth the effort. She pretends Ben is bugging her, but as soon as he leaves the room a cute smile will pass over her face. Ben and Rita are the cutest couple ever. Just sayin...

~ Billy - Jane's best friend since almost forever. Besides also being really cute (can I crush on both him AND Ben??? ;-)), Billy has an amazing personality. He is easy-going, fun to be around, always there for his best friends (even if it means getting detention because of it), and always ready to help Jane out of scraps. Billy gets frustrated once in a while, but generally is an all around nice guy. His brother is a trouble-maker, and Billy is working hard not to fall into the same life-style. Although Billy dated one of Jane's enemies for a little while, I totally ship him and Jane together. The end of the last eppie?? AHHH!!! How could they leave us like that??? Yes Billy is on the top of the list of my favorite characters!!

~ Jeremy - One of Jane's co-workers. A good looking, blond, British designer, who annoys most of the ladies with his charms, but is a pretty nice guy. I reallly hope him and India get together! Turns out he's a bit of a bad boy though as seen in the last episode of the first season! I was soo shocked!! But I still love him lol

~ India - Another co-worker of Jane's. India is tough, and is a bit of an enemy to Jane. She is viewed as a bad guy throughout the season, but you find out she's not as bad as you first think. She's got a good side to her, just buried kind of deep and hard to see sometimes. I hope they bring her back in the 2nd season - the show wouldn't be the same without her!

~ Carter - A co-worker/designer at the place Jane works. He's just awesome, friendly, and fun. I wish he had a bigger part in the show!!

~~~~

Soo I'm sure I could think up more things to write about this show, but I hope you enjoyed reading what I wrote! Thought it was time for a fun post! LOL! And what's more fun then writing about your current fav show???

I CAN'T WAIT TILL JUNE FOR SEASON TWO!!!

Ok... Enough for now... lol

I don't even think this post makes sense... Yay bad grammar!

Too many thoughts, too little words.

Too many feelings, too little words.

Too many things to do, too little time.

Too many things to read, too little time.

Too much too learn, too little brain space.

Too much hw, too little time.

Too much stress, too little happiness.

So many blessings, too little thankfulness.

21???

Sooo yesterday, I turned 21! Whoa... Legal now! :-P Feels kinda weird... No worries peeps - sooo not interested in drinking like at ALL :-P But kinda fun not to be the youngest on of the group any more! Yay me ;-)

Bday was awesome!! :-) Best one I've had in forEV! :-) God is good to me!!!

Ok, bed time... :-P Sorry I don't post much these days! School is busy! Sooo ready for May! Lol

Lists

The good things in life -

• Tumblr - how did I ever get along without it??? It's like the perfect time waster! ;-) (Hey, anything to get out of hw!)
• Turning 21 - NEXT WEEK! Duuude! No longer the youngest in the group! And people can't patronize me any more for being underage - yay me!
• ABC family TV shows - seriously, I am totally shipping Billy and Jane - HOW CAN I WAIT TILL JUNE????? AHHH!!!
• Canned corn - makes a great lunch! Seriously, I eat the whole can! LOL I gotta find more canned foods... Maybe I should pick up some baked beans! Yuuum! :oD
• My Math teacher - she's totally a role-model of how I want to be when(if) I become a teacher!
• Monday lunch dates with a certain gal who puts up with my craziness for some odd reason - love you BFF! <3
• Music!!! Happy, Sad, Upbeat, Classical, Danceable, Singable, Laughable, Cryable, Country, Pop, Christian, etc!!!
• Justin Bieber! *Grins* Don't be haters peeps! Don't be haters! ;-)
• God's forgiveness and grace (Wait - should this be on the top???).
• Becoming friends with someone who pranked you thinking you were someone else, and then finding out that not only were YOU being pranked, but THEY were being pranked by someone else into thinking YOU were someone else, and you totally don't know them! (Got that??? ;-)). Good times, good times!
• Having an ENFP personality! (This one is especially for the above mentioned new friend! :oD).
• Your best friend/sister/ex-roommate FINALLY getting internet! FINNALLLLYYY!
• Sunshine and farmers tans ;-)
• Screaming at one in the morning when your sister finds wasps on her window and wants you to help her kill them! (Parents were away - hence why we could scream at 1am! ;-)).
• Finally watching the POTC movies and hating them! (Yes, this is a good thing! ;-)).

The bad list -

• Everything else

Overwhelmed